Throughout my professional career from the start I have been told I am too aggressive “for a girl” and now it seems to have changed to “not motherly enough” for a woman. It gets better because I am like a “son” to my family, and other phrases include “she is not marriage material because she is too independent”, “ she studied only because she cannot get married”, “she will not find a man who will be confident to be with her” etc. etc. etc.
The labels have changed but the confusion still remains… from day one till now. What would it take for people to identify me irrespective of my gender and purely base it on my individual identity and understand that my journey is different and my expectations from life are different? I thought I simply will not care and just get on with life on my own terms because whilst there are those who tend to pull me down, I am also blessed with a great support system.
My parents have always supported me to fly high and do and be what I want to be, my friends have waited for me when I had to work in the middle of a meet up, they have stayed silently while I would disrupt their fun by taking an office call that would sometimes go on for hours. They have accepted that my office laptop comes as a part of me when we meet up. I know I have my safety net when I want to take a break… But let me tell that not all friends understand my work and I don’t expect them to also, but never the less, I have a good support system.
This year 2021, is special to me. I was at the lowest possible point at the start of the year and saw life flash right in front of, collected myself whilst it was broken into tiny pieces thanks to a few individuals. You know who you are, if you are reading this. I found rainbows amidst the dark, I found happiness as a choice, I also lost the rainbow, but let’s let life take its course to see whether I will find the rainbow (will leave that one out for later), read 40 plus books and finally decided to start working on my book.
To be honest this whole need to write started when I was in Grade 7… my first writing was for “Leadside High” a very small story about two girls Julia and Melissa…. And I had a big red file with 9 chapters completed till I grew out of it….. Then I have a story titled “Love me, Love me not” where the story is still in my head waiting to be written… and one day I hope I will find it in my heart to give justice to Jenny…. Who is the strongest person I know… yet I am very very unfair to her…. But I just cannot see a happy ending for her…. but for now, my journey starts on the last full moon day for 2021… I want to finish this journey after I reach the final destination and already enjoying the path to the fullest.
Back to the original point of labels and all, well, you can call me anything you want, you can say anything you want, I live my life only on my terms, as long as I don’t hurt anybody I am fine. I only care what my support system thinks of me and that is only a handful of people. My family, my best friends, my navigator and my rainbow… and my own conscience and heart… I guess its the way for everyone right? This is also another one of starting from one place and ending with another type writing but well you get what I am saying right?
Adios till next time.
